Since its arrival on Netflix, Bridgerton has left a trail of enraptured (and often thirsty) viewers in its wake. We pour over the fantastical scenery, swoon at the dashing men, and live in the heady bliss that comes with watching a Regency period piece.
But while we celebrate the triumphs of Simon and Daphne’s romance, we can’t help thinking, “Thank God our identity is not dependent on finding a husband, like theirs is.”
After reflecting on my own recent experiences, I can’t help but wonder . . .
Have we really changed that much?
Anyone who knows me knows I am happily single. I love my freedom and independence. (My favorite character is Eloise. Surprised?)
Luckily, our society has evolved from the time in which Bridgerton is set. I can now live a meaningful life without being tied to a man, right?
Here is where it starts to get muddled, though.
If you move from the societal perspective to the interpersonal one, people tend to hold on to traditional views of relationships. While society might proclaim, “Live Your Life!” my neighbors chime in, “Still no ring?”
One of the first questions I am asked when meeting someone usually is some variation of “Are you married?”, “What does your husband do?”, or “Are you single?”.
I am not a debutante moving about the ton’s social scene. I have no dowry. Then why does my marital status confer some sort of worth to my life?
Now, now, dear readers. I hear what you are saying: They are just being polite and making conversation! Well, I used to believe the same thing. But now, I’m just tired. I am tired of smiling politely while coworkers tell me they are going to find me a good man.
I am tired of trying to demurely exit conversations about how I should date my patient’s grandson because he deserves a girl like me! And I am tired of being told, “No husband or boyfriend? Oh, you poor dear!”
No, I grew tired of the world’s obsession with single women the day I was propositioned 5 times in one shift. Each time the person claimed they had the perfect guy for me. Sorry, but unless that person is Henry Cavill or Tom Hiddleston, I’m going to decline.
Even if it were them, I would still most likely decline!
In the words of Eloise, “Must our only options be to squawk and settle or to never leave the nest?”
Are we really so different from Bridgerton? Maybe, you think it is just our parents and relatives putting this pressure on us. That’s just not true. The abundance of dating site options shows that we want to find a match just as desperately as Daphne did.
The next time you are swiping through dating profiles? Congratulations! You are now a Featherington studying miniature portraits of eligible bachelors before a ball.
Sure today’s version might lead to just one night, not a marriage, but the point is still the same. We are still focused on the world seeing that we (no matter how briefly) were part of a couple. That we are capable of leaving behind spinsterhood if we want to.
So, will I ever choose to leave behind spinsterhood?
I guess we will just have to wait and see!
Right now, I plan on emulating Lady Whisltedown, “We should aspire to be just like her. Unmarried, and earning our own money!” One thing I do know is if people keep asking about my relationships, then this author will have to show you her teeth!
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