Turtles All the Way Down by John Green

Have you ever read a book that both destroyed and created you in one fell swoop? That’s how I felt about John Green’s Turtles All the Way Down.

I know I’m wildly behind on this one, but I finally read Turtles All the Way Down and it made me feel all sorts of ways.

Turtles All the Way Down follows Aza as she deals with depression, love, and solving mysteries. Aza has compulsions, intrusive thoughts, and a middle school friend whose father just disappeared. Her best friend, Daisy, suggests that they try to gain the reward for information leading to the billionaire’s capture, so they sneak onto his property.

But of course, they’re caught by the groundskeeper and brought to Aza’s friend from “Sad Camp”, Davis.

Thanks to Daisy’s quick thinking, they tell Davis that they’re there because Aza had a crush on him. He knows it may have something to do with the reward, though, and is (rightfully) tentative. However, they get to know each other and see where things go.

The book is incredible because it powerfully discusses obsessive compulsion disorder alongside mental illness in general. That was what broke me.

Aza deals with mental illness in a way that I related to almost too much. She doesn’t trust medication because: why should you need to take a pill to be yourself? Which is exactly how I used to feel about medicating my depression.

Aza is also aware that her issues can be grating for her friends and those around her. One of my favorite (and the most telling) moments in the book is when Aza is in the middle of a panic attack. Her mother asks her what she’s scared of, and Aza says:

Its not like that. The sentence doesn’t have, like, an object. I’m just scared.

I felt that right down to my core, because sometimes I’m just scared.

This book was damn powerful. I tend to buy John Green books then wait a million years to read them because they have the potential to be cliche as heck, but they always prove me wrong. I really appreciated the way that Turtles All the Way Down made me feel.

I highly recommend checking out Turtles All the Way Down, but on a day when you can handle it. It’s definitely a lot, so don’t go into expecting fluff; you won’t get that. I read it in one day because I needed to finish it. It took a lot out of me but in an incredible way.

You can grab yourself a copy of Turtles All the Way Down here.

Is there a book you’ve read recently that made you feel all sorts of ways?