Despite loving Halloween, I have always hated one particular, rather fundamental, aspect of this holiday—scary stuff. I hate it. All of it. I hate scary movies. I hate haunted houses. I hate people who hide in your bushes and jump out to get candy. (Who tf hides in bushes?! Murderers, that’s who. Don’t be a murderer. Don’t hide in bushes.)
Growing up, every year my friends would try and get me to watch scary movies and I never would. My husband still tries. Last year, I actually cried when he tried to make me watch The Shining.
Because of these rather unfortunate limitations on my Halloween celebrations, I’ve compiled a list of delightfully spoopy activities that are friendly to the more horror-sensitive among us and guarantee everyone will actually have a happy Halloween.
Communal Entertainment
The air is getting colder. It’s probably wet and rainy. Therefore, Halloween parties are often the first indoor activities after an entire summer in the sun. So, if you’re hosting a Halloween shindig and you’re tempted to put on a movie, try one of these less terrifying options and save everyone from a night of sleepless terror.
The Classic: Nightmare Before Christmas
Nothing says Halloween more than a sing-a-long and Santa Claus. If it’s good enough for Disney’s Haunted Mansion, it’s good enough for me.
The Comedy: Hocus Pocus
The best version of comedy has to be ’90s Disney cheese. Enjoy this film for its genuinely great plot, Sarah Jessica Parker grabbing her own boobs, and lots of jokes about virginity. And always remember that this movie was a Disney Channel Original Movie MADE FOR CHILDREN.
The Compromise: Any Alfred Hitchcock Film
If you’re feeling a bit daring or your significant other absolutely insists on watching something at least slightly scary, I highly recommend renting a Hitchcock film through Amazon Prime. You can choose a range of fear levels, from North by Northwest (suspenseful, but not at all scary), all the way to Psycho (shower death scene). But either way, you’re sure to get a fantastic film out of the deal.
Home Alone
Sometimes, the best part of Halloween is simply being home alone and watching some TV while shoveling fistfuls of candy into your mouth. Sometimes, the worst part of Halloween is being home alone while scary stuff pops up on your favorite channels without your consent. Instead, moderate your viewing experience with these safer options.
The Classic: It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown
There’s nothing more pure than watching Charlie Brown, Linus, and Sally wait every year for the Great Pumpkin. If you disagree, then I promise you the Great Pumpkin is never coming to your pumpkin patch.
The Comedy: OG Sabrina, the Teenage Witch
If you, like me, were incredibly disappointed by Netflix’s launch of The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (I tuned in expecting an updated version of a talking cat and teenage shenanigans and got immediate death instead), I have good news for you. The entirety of the original Sabrina, The Teenage Witch series is available on Hulu! Watch for a good time and a renewed sense of nostalgia for the simple life of our childhood.
The Compromise: Stranger Things
Although I usually have to watch a few, palate-cleansing episodes of Rick Steve’s European Vacation after watching Stranger Things, I find the show to be a good balance between scary and wholesome (even if I do only watch it during the daytime).
Spooky Scary Crafts
Although one of the best parts of Halloween is obviously rummaging through the dollar section at Target or wandering down the aisles of Party City, at-home crafts can take your spooky season from horrifying to hygge.
The Classic: Pumpkins
While jack-o-lanterns are an obvious must-do for Halloween, the proliferation of pumpkins in basically every store during the month of October means that you can move beyond only carving one pumpkin and create a whole patch in your home. Because carving a pumpkin is a sort of time-consuming process, consider painting designs on your pumpkins or simply creating aux naturelles arrangements.
The Comedy: Cookie Monsters
EAT MORE COOKIEZZZ. No need to leave these cookies for Santa. Decorate yourself some monster cookies inspired by Cookie Monster or newer monster friends like Mike and Sully.
The Compromise: Decorating
Decorating can be a fun activity for everyone. Plus, there are so many ways to decorate! A quick Pinterest search will turn up about 1000 different ways to cheaply (or expensively) decorate your home for Halloween. Use your carved pumpkins to decorate your stoop or put zombies in your yard. The level of scare is up to you. My favorite decorative changes for the Fall are putting new pillowcases on all my throw pillows and buying 1,894 candles. Warmth, vanilla, and flannel EVERYWHERE.
Of course, there are tons more activities to explore for your spoopy Halloween. Because there’s so much fun stuff to do, there’s really no need to watch scary movies anyways. Know that if you just want to enjoy the candy and pumpkins, you’re not alone. I’ll be over here watching Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban for the 734th time, happily sipping a PSL, and having a very happy Halloween.
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