Geek In The Kitchen: Squirrel Girl’s Favorite Granola

Gluten-free || Soy free || Vegan || No stirring necessary!

What Marvel superhero is a computer science major, has a seriously bodacious booty, and stopped Galactus from destroying the world by unleashing her wicked sense of humor and sharing her favorite snacks with him? 

Hint: She has all the powers of a girl and all the powers of a squirrel.

Doreen Green aka the Unbeatable Squirrel Girl! This bright-eyed and bushy-tailed crime-fighting babe has defeated some of the most formidable villains in the Marvel universe (hello, Thanos!), befriended others (hello, Galactus!) and even leads her own team of superheroes: the Great Lakes Avengers. 

With her bomb dot com bomber jacket, her trusty utility belt,  her bow-wearing squirrel BFF Tippy Toe, and her loyal squirrel pals, Squirrel Girl is both a hilarious comic relief character and badass heroine. 

So what’s one of the things that keeps Squirrel Girl (and her squirrel squad) defending New York from the likes of Kraven the Hunter and Mysterio? She’s fueled by the protein-packed and totally tasty nuts she keeps squirreled away in the pouches in her utility belt! 

This nut-filled granola recipe is inspired by Squirrel Girl and is one of the tastiest and easiest granolas you’ll ever bake. There’s no fancy equipment or fussy ingredients and you don’t even need to stir it! It’s super customizable so don’t stress if you don’t have all of these nuts in your pantry. There are some tips in the recipe for what you can add or remove!

So summon your scurry of squirrel besties, buckle up your utility belt, and let’s get baking!

Dry Ingredients 

¾ cup old fashioned rolled oats (not instant!) 

½ cup almond meal*

½ cup raw walnut pieces or halves

½ cup raw whole or chopped almonds 

¼ cup raw pumpkin seeds

½ cup raw chopped pecans 

¼ cup raw slivered almonds 

¼ cup unsweetened shredded coconut 

2 tablespoons chia or hemp seeds 

1 and ½ teaspoons cinnamon

Small pinch of sea salt

Wet Ingredients 

¼ cup grapeseed oil**

1 and ½ teaspoons pure vanilla extract***

6 tablespoons pure maple syrup****

Mix-Ins 

½ cup dried fruit

You can have A TON of fun with this mix-in. My personal favorite is dried blueberries, but you could also do golden raisins, dried cherries, dried cranberries, or a mix of all of ‘em for a real dried fruit party. Or if you don’t like dried fruit, simply don’t add it! 

Let’s Get NUTS Baking! 

1. Line a large baking tray with parchment paper or a silicone baking mat.

2. Preheat the oven to 275 degrees

3. Grab an Avengers-sized bowl and toss in all of the dry ingredients. Give ‘em a quick stir with a fork to make sure it’s all combined.

4. Dump in all the liquid ingredients, stirring it all together with the fork until the nut and oat mix are all coated and comes together. 

5. Using a rubber spatula, spoon, or your clean hands scoop the granola mixture onto the prepared baking tray and smoosh it down so it’s in an even layer no more than ½ an inch or so. Press it down firmly so it stays together like a glorious sheet of granola nomminess.

6. Pop that bad boy in the oven and set a timer for 20 minutes.

7. When the timer goes off, take the tray out, rotate it, and sprinkle on the dried fruit of your choice, and pop it back into the oven for another 20 to 25 minutes. (If you’re not adding dried fruit, all you need to do is rotate the pan and bake it for the same amount of time). There’s no need to stir.

8. The granola should be a light golden brown by the time the timer goes off again. Remove the tray from the oven and gently place the tray on a metal cooling rack. 

9. Be a patient Hufflepuff and wait for the granola to cool completely, or at least one hour, on the tray. It should break off into crispy, crunchy, clusters at this point!!!! 

10. Store the granola goodness in either an airtight container or glass jar for up to a week or two. 

I love to eat a couple handfuls of this as is as a snack after a workout, or a quick, light bite if I’m hungry before bed. But my favorite way to eat this is with almond milk for breakfast!!! It’s a guilt-free, refined-sugar free granola cereal better than any of those store-bought varieties that are loaded with junk and cane sugar.

This recipe is super customizable too! Don’t like coconut? Leave out the dried coconut. Not a fan of pecans or walnuts? Use cashews, hazelnuts, or macadamia nuts instead. Don’t have pumpkin seeds? Raw sunflower seeds make a good alternative. Or leave ‘em out altogether and just add extra nuts or oats. No hemp or chia seeds? Raw buckwheat groats are similarly sized and also add a nice crunch and texture to the granola. More of an agave or honey person? You could probably sub either for the maple syrup, although I haven’t tried them in this recipe! 

Notes 

* If you don’t have almond meal on hand you can easily make your own by blitzing ½ cup almonds in a food processor until the almonds are ground into a sandy texture. This helps the granola stay together in large, crunchy chunks, so you don’t want to skip this! 

** Or another neutral oil. If you prefer a more coconutty taste or don’t have grapeseed oil on hand, ¼ cup melted coconut oil works well too! 

*** Not vanilla “flavor”! Trader Joe’s has a baller Bourbon Vanilla Extract that’s less than $10! If you don’t have a nearby TJ’s there are a couple of alternatives: Frontier Co-op’s Organic Vanilla Extract, Simply Organic’s Madagascar Vanilla Extract, and for the extra bougie among us, Nielsen-Massey’s Pure Vanilla Extract are also lit choices! 

**** Not that rank/nasty AF pancake syrup that’s just sugar and artificial colors. Real freaking maple syrup. My favorite is Doc’s Maple Syrup because it’s equally nommy drizzled atop waffles and pancakes as it is baked into muffins, cookies, cakes, and other treats. Also, as a Connecticut resident, Doc’s is a small business local to me. If you’re not in the tri-state area like I am, I suggest seeking out your own local maple syrup farms or producers to really get some mind-blowingly delicious syrup and support your community! 

If you bake up some of Squirrel Girl’s favorite granola be sure to @ us on Twitter @sartorialgeek or use the hashtag #sartorialgeek so we can see what tastiness you’ve baked up!